So, amid the conflict, whether great or small, DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. GOD IS OVER ALL.

Last week, I was responsible for Singers' Devotional. I never fully know what is going to come out of my mouth. Of course, everything said is good. Not to toot my own horn- Just that every time I share my testimony with anyone, I'm the one who benefits the most. Sometimes, I am quite profound in figuring out my own problems. Without knowing that that is what I've done. The quandary causing this certain post is the fact that if I would have remembered my advice from last week during this week, it may not have been so painful.

My mother always says, "Life is hard and then you die." As depressing as the statement is, I have always found some peace in it. Life is hard. For everyone. If you disagree, I'd like to see your life. But the comfort that I find is that I am not the only person that knows my life is hard. He knows. I am not alone. If only I could knock some sense into my brain every time I begin to think otherwise. My Heavenly Father tries my faith and my patience, but I am not alone. He is my constant companion while I work to come out the other side of a situation as a better person.

The whole reason for this train of thought? I am not going to be an intern with the Church Magazines. I am not going to try and understand it. Why? 1) It hurts too much. 2) I learned long ago that I am not the Director of my Three-Act Play. And 3) Trying to understand it leads me to question everything I've done until this point. In the midst of all my careful attempts to NOT get my hopes up too high, I did anyway. The job seemed perfect. I kept progressing to the next stage in the process. My interview went pretty well. At least I thought I was quite impressive. Obviously, I wasn't impressive enough. (That topic of conversation could be a post itself.) And now, an entire month later, I am going to be graduating in a month and I have no plans as of January 1st.

So now what? I don't know. But I do know that Somebody has a plan. I haven't been wasting my time and money on a pipe dream. I just keep going. And maybe, three weeks from now, I'll be wondering why I ever thought the Church Magazines internship was the place for me. Maybe...