I had no idea that days in the corporate world would be so dang funny. Sit back, relax, and grab a snack as I share some of my favorite moments from the past few weeks of DB life.
I'd like to introduce to one of the company annoyances: the City Creek bagpiper. He stands next to the crosswalk that connects City Creek to Temple Square and plays all day long. I am not particularly against bag-piping. If a man chooses to express himself by blowing into a large bag with pipes attached, he is more than welcome to in my book. If, perchance, that expression leaves others to rush to their cubicles crying, he may have a bigger problem. Also, if those people belong to DB, you know I'm gonna have a great story to go along with it.
Mr. Piper, let's be honest, is not the best bagpiper in the land. Why else would he stand on the side of the street panhandling for money? I am not an expert on piping expertise but one note of his sounds like three different squawks that are relatively in the same key. Sometimes I can catch the tune. Whenever I catch a phrase or two of "Praise to the Man" (Yes, I know the tune is some Irish song or something), it makes me smile. Needless to say, he is not the favorite musician on the street. Many of the DB associates have tried to find a way to get rid of him. (Nothing shady- don't worry. The DB hit team is still under raps...) Every time the company gets together, (or few times over the corporate email) there is an ongoing joke that whoever gets rid of Mr. Piper will win $500. (I'm sure enough of the building is willing to donate their own penny cash to whoever conquers the music bandit.) If anyone wins the money, I'll be sure to let you know.
The Case of the Paper-cuts is an equally fascinating story. A few weeks back, DB came out with a special gift to all its customers: a $5 off for a $25 purchase coupon. (Side note: if you would like a coupon, let me know. I have connections now.) It became a bit of a contest to see who would be able to hand out the most after Jeannie took hundreds over to MoTab practice for the entire choir and orchestra. The COB HR Dept. requested a good 2000 to hand out to all of their employees! As exciting as that sounds, the coupons come on rolls of close to 5000 coupons each. Meaning that someone had to roll out the correct number to send across the street. Who should get that responsibility but my friend Derek. Ergo, he would holler and ask if I would help. Scott had the awesome idea that we could measure how many coupons would line the major hallway from Dustin's office to the far end of the break room. Walking a roll of coupons down the hallway didn't seem like enough fun to me so I had the idea that Derek and I could race. He jumped on that idea! Why wouldn't he? How often does anyone race down the hallway in the corporate world?
Derek went first. He started strong for the first three feet. Then the middle of the roll decided to make an appearance and fall all over the floor. After his girlish squeals while putting the roll back together, he made a grand total of 35 seconds from start to finish. Then it was my turn. I learned enough from his experience to keep track of the whole roll while I ran. That certain development resulted in several paper-cuts all over my hands. Still, I won. The pain was totally worth it!
We decided to run twice even though it was more coupons than we needed. The second time, Derek ran like the wind! I tried to keep up and was doing a pretty good job until I hit the center of the hallway and heard the door open on my right. I remember thinking, "Oh crap! What if that's Sheri...?" and I dropped the roll. Whether it be fortunate or not, it wasn't Sheri. I am sorry to say that I lost big time on the second run.
Derek and I exchanged YOU ROCK cards since we both won once and then attempted to get back to work. The rest of the Marketing team were sad that they missed out on all the fun. Mike and Megan came out of a meeting and began taking pictures of the mess we made to possibly post online... If you see them, let me know!
This is just a few pieces of my life here at Corporate. I still feel like I'm floundering a bit but life goes on... One day, I'll know what I'm doing. At least, here's hoping!
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