I'm not your biggest fan.
Here I am again, sitting in my cubicle, scanning files into cyberspace, listening to my iPod to break up the silence. It is another one of those days where the only way I make it through is by thinking about my future paycheck. Don't get me wrong, I really do like hanging out with my dad every day here at work, but he is currently away at the doctor's office and I am here scanning and struggling to make an Excel spreadsheet work. Computers are not my best friends.
The green monster of jealousy is on my heels today. I keep thinking of the "What if"s and the "If Only"s and it isn't getting me anywhere. One day... One day, my job will be a career. One day, a man will think I'm pretty great. One day, I will feel completely independent. One day, I will have spending money. One day, I will travel back across the pond. One day, I'll be the cool kid on the block. I just hope that that "one day" decides to appear sooner rather than later.
Then I start thinking, "Who wants to know all of this?" With the new format of Blogspot, I can see the Viewing Traffic on my blog, and I would like to personally thank the few of you that choose to read my murmurings. These people with hundreds of followers help me realize how meager my little blog is. Maybe one day I will be a famous blogger and people will be inspired by me... Right now, I suppose I will have to be content to broadcast my randomness out into this cosmic void.
P.S. Apologies for the downer....
Oh, Jenny... You ARE the cool kid! When I have days like the one you described I remind myself to just BE, though it can be hard. "Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength." You have it together more than you think... It all doesn't have to happen right now or even tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteJenny...I love you. I hope you know that. Dreaming about the future is great and so is planning for it. But in the midst of that I have learned to remember that I am already living a part of my dream. There was once a day when I dreamed of being a graduate and of discovering things in the world and now I am. So remember all that you have already accomplished and that you are already living a part of your dream and smile because you are.
ReplyDeleteOne day... you will get to hang out with me. That day is Tuesday. Although all those things you're looking forward to in your blog do sound fabulous, you better look forward to seeing me too, cause I'm ecstatic to see you!
ReplyDeleteOkay, a couple things- First, I love your blog and read it all the time. It's so sunny and your outlook is contagious. a) Don't worry, no one follows my blog either! Second, I'm in the same boat as you, waiting for my REAL life to begin and trying to remember I'll get all the things I want from life in due time. b) In the immortal words of Tom Petty: "The waiting is the hardest part." Lastly, anytime you need a good laugh, just remember Shira's crazy poetry class.
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